
Has anyone seen the new Corona commercial starring Kenny Chesney? Well it’s out there and it’s got my underpants in an uncomfortable bunch. I’ve spent quite a few sunny days drinking Corona, my “vacation beer” of choice, and always regarded it as a real treat for those outdoor drinking days.
That was until I saw Corona’s new commercial featuring huge nerd Kenny Chesney. The commercial didn’t even run all the way through until I rose from the couch and proclaimed, “I’m swearing off Corona…FOR LIFE!” You think I’m joking. This actually happened. And I meant it. I will never drink another Corona for as long as I live. I simply can’t support a product that sponsors Kenny Chesney, quite possibly the biggest juicebag in music. Why don’t I like Kenny Chesney? Let me count the ways…
- Chesney rarely writes his own songs – one of my biggest pet peeves. He didn’t write any of the songs on his latest album. He has had a whopping 14 number one singles, but 13 of those songs were written by someone else. He only wrote one of his number one singles outright, and received partial writing credit on two more.
- Chesney refuses to wear sleeves – another pet peeve. Nothing screams “d-bag” louder than a walk-in closet filled with sleeveless shirts.
- Followup to #2…according to cbsnews.com, Chesney is “barely 5’6” tall, weighs just 143 pounds and is balding to boot.” Where I come from, you don’t wear sleeveless shirts if 90% of the human race can beat you up.
- He married upper-crust ugly, crazy-eyed Renee Zellweger, who divorced him 4 months later. That’s what I call “rock bottom.” For someone that likes to sing about suntans so much, it’s ironic that he picked the pastiest woman in Hollywood.
- Mainstream country music makes my ears bleed.
Anyway, I’m happy to migrate to Dos Equis, the beer of The Most Interesting Man in the World and cool guys everywhere. I heard The Most Interesting Man in the World puts his shirt on just like the rest of us – one sleeve at a time (excluding Kenny Chesney). Except, once his shirt is on, he makes gold records.
Here are Chesney’s #1’s, and whether or not he had anything to do with them other than showing up to the studio one day without any sleeves:
She’s Got It All – NO
When I Close My Eyes – NO
That’s Why I’m Here – NO
How Forever Feels – PARTIAL CREDIT
You Had Me From Hello – PARTIAL CREDIT
The Good Stuff – NO
There Goes My Life – NO
When The Sun Goes Down – NO
Living in Fast Forward – NO
Summertime – NO
Beer in Mexico – YES!!!!!
Never Wanted Nothing More – NO
Shiftwork – NO
Better as a Memory – NO
The Most Interesting Man In The World
The Most Interesting Man In The World on Packages

